The purpose of the Celebrate Recovery Ministry at First Baptist is to change the course of our lives, from following selfish ambitions and personal desires which end up causing us so much grief, to knowing and following God's perfect and Christ-centered plan and purpose for our lives which will by necessity lead us out of bondage to our old, painful resentments, hurts, addictions, and habits. Our healing is to be for His glory, not our own satisfaction.


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Tuesday, April 28, 2020

Recovery step 3: Brakes

We actually had some sunshine that particular morning and I was finally able to tackle a job I needed to do. It’s not that I was putting it off, but the recent plethora of cold and rainy days provided a good excuse to delay the inevitable. I am no mechanic and I have great respect for those who work on cars, especially here in PA where our roads get flooded with that metal-eating brine all winter, but I needed to do some basic car maintenance. Sometimes, however, there is a large gap between knowing what to do and making it happen. It’s almost as big a gap as the one between what should be simple and what actually is simple.

Let me give an example from a couple years ago. I’ve changed the oil in my vehicles for many years, way back to when I was sixteen. One thing I like about the cars we have now is that all of them sit high enough that I don’t even have to jack them off the ground to change the oil and filter. Being OCD like everyone says I am, I even have a chart that lists all the parts and tools I need for each of our vehicles. Anyway, I was changing the oil in all of them a couple years ago and our Jeep Wrangler was the last to be done. So far everything had gone smoothly and I was set to complete the work in record time (I often time myself to see how fast I can do it). I removed the drain plug and let the oil run out. I then reinstalled the plug. So far so good. I then removed the old filter and installed the new one. Hey, this was fantastic! All that was left was putting the new oil into the engine. That’s all I had to do and the job was done. It’s simple. My dad used to let me do that much when I was three. Come on, you just remove the filler cap on the valve cover and dump in the necessary amount of oil. This part’s as easy as getting yourself a drink of milk. At least it should be. You see, this particular oil change is a big reason I have utmost respect for anyone who works on cars for a living. Anything can and will go wrong.

I started to remove the filler cap on the valve cover and something snapped. You know that sinking feeling you get when your perfect day suddenly turns into a pile of poo? It’s an oil cap, a simple piece of round plastic with a grippy side on top and treads on the bottom. All you have to do is turn it and it comes out, right? Not today. Something inside the cap snapped and now the top turned but not the part threaded into the valve cover! Now, I’m no rocket scientist, but this was beyond comprehension. So I fiddled with the thing for about five minutes, which doesn’t seem like a long time unless you are unable to do some incredibly easy task in that period. Imagine how long five minutes would feel if you were unable to remove the cap from the milk jug as you sat at the breakfast table. All you want to do is eat your cereal, but for some inexplicable reason you are unable to manipulate the little plastic cap and remove it from the milk jug. Your five-year old is enjoying his fruity-flavored loops of sugar, but you sit dumbfounded. Needless to say my record-breaking pace was shot. That’s when I had to just step back for a moment. I literally moved away, about two feet from the fender and just stared at the stupid thing, flabbergasted and in disbelief that I couldn’t remove the cap. I really became concerned that my incompetence had been revealed in other ways I was as yet unaware of, so I checked to make sure I didn’t have my pants on upside-down or something, but they were okay.

In my pause for sanity, I had an idea. There’s more than one opening in the valve cover; I could just pull the PCV valve and dump the oil in through that opening! Hah! I’ll show you, ya crazy cap! Renewed by my brilliant problem-solving, I grabbed the PCV valve and pulled up. It broke off in my hand. The piece with the hose connection just busted right off. Worse than that, the PCV valve was still in the valve cover! My son, who had been observing this entire evolution, started to back away from the vehicle not sure if he would bust out laughing or just run. “That’s it!” I announced to the neighborhood, “it’s time for lunch!”

As we sat before the lovely lunch my wonderful wife prepared that day, we prayed as always. That day prayers were offered for me and the Jeep. I appreciated both.

After the respite of lunch, my son and I headed back to do battle. On my way through the garage I grabbed two of the most important things from my toolbox; duct tape and “the persuader.” We all know duct tape; it fixes almost anything. The other item is a big honkin’ screw driver; that cap was coming off. With the application of a few feet of tape, the PCV valve was fixed. My full attention then turned to the oil cap. I pried and I pried, and suddenly everything went into slow motion, like when you find yourself falling down the stairs. The oil cap flipped up into the air and rolled over eight times before it disappeared (it happened so slowly I counted the rotations). Then something shinny popped up and dropped right back down in the hole. NOOOOO!

I gave no thought to the cap. My immediate concern was the strange metal object plummeting down into the valve cover opening. By this time I was practically in the engine compartment, having leaped upon the motor in my attempt to catch the metal piece, whatever it was. Luckily the huge bulge of duct tape around the PVC valve softened my landing. So, with my face very near the opening in the cover I realized it wasn’t an opening at all and the shinny metal thing I saw flipping in the air was a small spring; it was laying right there in the bottom part of the oil cap. I breathed a sigh of relief. My mind then began to ponder the peculiar ways of engineers. Why would some very intelligent person so complicate a simple cap as to make it two separate pieces with a spring in the middle? My milk jug doesn’t require such a completely over-engineered device. Well, I removed the spring and I must admit I was more than a little tempted to see how far I could throw it, but I refrained from such foolishness. Then I got a pair of needle-nose pliers, and fitting the ends into the teeth of the piece of the cap remaining in the cover, I unscrewed the oil cap. Moments later the oil was in, the bottom half of the cap reinstalled and the engine was running. I set the spring and top part of the cap back in place but let’s face it; they’re really only decoration at this point.

That’s not what I wanted to talk about today. I started, intending to tell you about my most recent episode of working on this “family fun car.” It needed front brakes and I’ve been putting off the job because of the lingering cold, the incessant rain and the fact we don’t really NEED to drive it. Disk brakes are more complex than an oil change, but I’ve done them before on several different vehicles. I’ve even done drum brakes in my life and those were like a puzzle. Fresh oil and good brakes are pretty important. If you don’t change your oil you’ll eventually do some real harm to the engine. If you don’t replace your brakes periodically, you’ll eventually do some real damage to your vehicle, and probably someone else’s too. My son and I started on the driver’s side and it went pretty smoothly. I only had to take the new pads off twice to reposition or correct something I messed up, but soon it was back together and the wheel reinstalled. I know by now that I should never feel very confident when it comes to car maintenance, but I kinda did. After all, I knew how the brakes on this particular make and model went together now. Nathaniel jacked it up and took the wheel off. I then removed the bolts holding the caliper and very soon the old, worn-out pads were laying on the driveway. They had worn evenly and weren’t quite to the rivets, so I was happy. I put the new pads in the caliper but then realized there was an issue. I couldn’t get the caliper back into position. There are two pins that have to be able to slide inside these rubber sleeves and the pins were not sliding at all. I spent the next hour or so trying to free them. After failing at every attempt I started trying to remove them without mangling the rubber sleeves. I preserved the sleeves but the ends of the pins got mangled by my big pliers. So, it was back to the parts store for new pins. With a little brake grease and the new pins, the passenger side brakes were soon done and the wheel back on, job complete except for the long clean-up process.

I was an absolute mess. I was covered in grease, brake dust and grime. I mean it was on my head, my face, halfway up my arms. My work shirt and pants looked like my oil-change rags. My hands were black; I think one of my nostrils was plugged and I could only see out of one eye. Besides that, I had two broken knuckles, sore knees, a large contusion on my left thigh and a pinched nerve in my hand. But you know what, I saved a couple bucks.

So why am I telling you all of this? It’s not because I’m advertising a new series of automotive how-to videos I’m hosting on-line. It’s because I’m telling you that we need to depend fully upon Christ and the Holy Spirit for recovery. There are some minor things I can do in the area of car maintenance, but even for those I often need to look something up on-line or seek some assistance, if not just for another set of hands. Almost all the time I need parts and supplies. But for more difficult things, I take our cars to a real mechanic who knows what he is doing.

People who struggle with any kind of issues, be it anger, resentment, codependency, gossip, materialism, lust, drugs, alcohol, relationships, health, etc often attempt to take matters into their own hands. My father, who worked as an EMT and paramedic for most of his life, says that many times people ignored or hesitated calling about chest pain, assuming it was indigestion or something that would just go away. In many cases, that delay cost their life. There are some things you can do in recovery, but that is only the minor stuff. You cannot recover on your own in a way that is lasting and anything more than cross-over addiction.

If you’ve been in recovery for even a short time you know that Step 1 basically says you’ve made a mess of things and are powerless to make it any better. Life has gotten out of control, at least in some areas, and it is adversely affecting you and the people around you. You’ve tried to hide the problem(s), but that is getting harder and harder or maybe impossible. Look, not being able to hide it is actually a good thing. As long as you can hide it, it will continue and nothing will improve. People are still getting hurt, or you’re setting them up for a more severe hurt, and you are increasingly burdened with guilt and anxiety. You know you’ll eventually get caught and/or do irreparable harm to yourself or someone else. Once it is out in the open, however, you have to deal with it and other people who care can come along beside you and help. God makes clear in His Word that admitting and confessing your troubles, struggles, addictions, hurts, resentments and sins is the starting point of healing. Consider 1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Psalm 32:5 adds, “I acknowledged my sin to You, and my iniquity I have not hidden, I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,’ and You forgave the iniquity of my sin.”

Step 2 basically reminds us that only God can bring restoration and recovery. God alone has the wisdom and power necessary for your recovery, or the recovery of someone you care about who is struggling. There are some very smart people who have plenty of ideas of how you can recover. None of those people are able to be with you all the time, to be there in the middle of the night when the urge comes and you are faced with either reaching out to someone for help or hiding and indulging yourself. None of them have the power to change your desires and thought process. Oh they can reason with you and give you every good reason to change, but they cannot get inside your head were the addiction torments you and change you, only God can bring relief like that. And God cares enough about you to do it if you yield to His Spirit and His Truth.

Step 3 is different in that the first two steps simply remind you of some facts: who you are and who God is. In Step 3 you face a decision based upon those facts. The decision is whether to actually begin to yield to God’s perfect will for you or continue to fight against Him. In fighting against Him you are technically fighting against yourself as well. Think about it, we all know the songs and had the urges to be out there on our own, the me-against-the-world mentality. Doing that brings us to the place of addiction because it is a very self-centered ideology. We pursue anything and everything we want and eventually find ourselves enslaved. Enslaved to some practice or substance like alcohol or leisure, or whatever, but more so addicted to the selfishness. That’s why we can do a little maintenance on our own, like me doing a brake job on the car. We can shift away from our practice or substance of choice, at least for awhile, but we will just shift over to something else that will also become an addiction. And, like changing the oil in the car, when we try to do recovery any way except God’s way, we’ll have to keep doing it over and over in an endless cycle of ups and downs. Thus, the addiction of living-for-self is actually a fight against ourselves as well as a fight against God’s will for us.

For victory over whatever you are struggling against, you need the professional, the Great Physician who is God. You don’t just need a simple brake job so you can stop whatever it is that’s hurting you and/or others. You need a complete inspection by your loving Heavenly Father who designed you and formed you in the womb; Psalm 139:13 says, “for You formed my inward parts, You covered me in my mother’s womb.” You need the people “Engineer and Mechanic” who knows everything there is to know about you and your situation because there is nothing hidden from Him; Hebrews 4:13 says, “there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.” You need the One who has all power and authority to hold back the enemy; Ephesians 6:10-11 says, “my brethren, be strong it the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.” You need the Saviour who gives you a way of escape when temptation comes; 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man, but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” You need a “mind electrician” who can rewire your thoughts and desires; Romans 12:2 says, “do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

These are fundamental steps in true recovery because they teach you to trust God and depend upon Him and His Word. I can change the oil in a car, but I can’t rebuild the engine. I can change brakes on our Jeep, but I can’t manufacture the parts. You and I may change some things about ourselves, but we can’t heal ourselves or those we’ve really hurt.

God can.

Grace and Peace,
Pastor Mark

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