The purpose of the Celebrate Recovery Ministry at First Baptist is to change the course of our lives, from following selfish ambitions and personal desires which end up causing us so much grief, to knowing and following God's perfect and Christ-centered plan and purpose for our lives which will by necessity lead us out of bondage to our old, painful resentments, hurts, addictions, and habits. Our healing is to be for His glory, not our own satisfaction.


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Wednesday, June 24, 2020

Recovery Step 4: Love is Kind

Introduction
In this post we continue the process of the Step 4 Spiritual Inventory. Over the past weeks we have prepared for this Holy Spirit led examination because we don’t need a bunch of opinions or misunderstandings or deceptions about ourselves or our situation; we need the truth. I cannot get from point A to point B with a GPS unless I have accurate information about where I am and where I’m going. It’s the same thing with recovery; I need the truth about where I am and how to get where I need to go. Our understanding of ourselves is most often based on biased and faulty information, but God knows the truth and the Truth will set you free. That is why we submit, as Step 4 says, to a Spirit-led inventory.

Last week we opened our hearts and minds to what love truly is. The world gives us a very twisted and self-centered view of love; that is not God’s design. Now you may be asking what Godly love has to do with recovery. The answer is everything. In recovery we know that worldly “love” most often hinders recovery which is why we’ve all heard it said countless times not to get into a romantic relationship while in recovery. The reason we need Godly love is that God designed us as social beings; we were made to commune with Him and other people. Addiction is very selfish and tends to drive us away from people and from God. Addiction is destructive because it makes us isolate, hide, lie and deceive. Godly love is a huge part of recovery as it beings us back into the kind of healthy relationships we need.

The Holy Spirit describes Godly love in 1 Corinthians 13. We began our spiritual inventory with a discussion of love with the first descriptive word (patient) in 1 Corinthians 13:4. This post begins with a quick review and then onto the second descriptive word which is “kind.”

Love Is Kind:
God’s description of love begins with this, “Love suffers long” (1 Corinthians 13:4). The Greek word translated “suffers long” or “is patient” means to withstand aggravation without complaint. Thus, in your Spirit-led self-examination, ask the Spirit to reveal to you the truth with the following questions:

How patient are you with close family?
How patient are you with extended family and friends?
How patient are you with acquaintances and strangers?
How patient are you with those who hate you?
These questions are best answered in light of God’s patience with you.

Now let’s move onto the second descriptive word in 1 Corinthians 13:4, “Love suffers long and is kind.” Kind is a rare Greek verb used only once in the New Testament, though other forms of the root word are used often. The Greek verb “kind” means to take merciful and gracious action toward someone. It is illustrated in a well-known parable Jesus told. Before we jump into the parable let me give you a little background information, some context if you will. The account of Jesus telling this story is found in Luke 10:25-37. Jesus is being challenged by a lawyer who seeks to discredit Him. The lawyer’s purpose is to divide the crowd so he asks Jesus what he must do to inherit eternal life. In Jewish society at the time, there was much debate about the reality of eternal life. Some, known as the Sadducees, did not believe in such a thing, many others, however, did. Jesus’ response to the lawyer’s question was, “What is written in the Law? What is your reading of it?” Jesus is talking about the Old Testament Law. The lawyer responded by quoting from Deuteronomy 6:5 and Leviticus 19:18, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,’ and your neighbor as yourself.’” Jesus replied, “You have answered rightly; do this and you shall live.” As a sidebar let me say that loving God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength includes trusting Him. Thus, when He tells you that the only way to be forgiven and have union with Him is through believing that Jesus died in your place, taking your punishment, and rising again so that you can have new life now and eternal life to come, you believe Him because you know He loves you and that you can trust Him (1 Corinthians 15:3-4; Acts 16:31). You cannot say you love God in the way described above if you deny what He says.

Back to Luke 10 and the parable. The lawyer, upon hearing Jesus tell him his answer was correct, realized he hadn’t gotten the answer he wanted; there was nothing there to accuse Jesus or divide the crowd. So, he pressed onward asking, “and who is my neighbor?” Now again, let me give you some background information. Jesus is about to answer the lawyer using a story about a Samaritan. The Jews hated the Samaritans; they considered them defiled. The Samaritans descended from the Jews who were left behind when Assyria conquered the Northern Kingdom of Israel, and the people Assyria transplanted into that territory. Thus, they were not fully Jewish and the Jews hated them because of that. Jesus had several interactions with Samaritans (see John 4 for example) as He showed them love and compassion and tried to teach His disciples to do the same. Now, lets read the parable in Luke 10:30-35:

“A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, who stripped him of his clothing, wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a certain priest came down that road. And when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. Likewise a Levite, when he arrived at the place, came and looked, and passed by on the other side. But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was. And when he saw him, he had compassion. So he went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine; and he set him on his own animal, brought him to an inn, and took care of him. On the next day, when he departed, he took out two denarii, gave them to the innkeeper, and said to him, ‘Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, when I come again, I will repay you.’”

Jesus then asked the lawyer, “So which of these three do you think was neighbor to him who fell among the thieves?” Jesus has presented an interesting case to the lawyer who must now admit that the despised Samaritan is the one who showed love, not the priest or Levite who were Jews. The lawyer replied, “The one who showed mercy on him.” Jesus then said, “Go and do likewise.” Go and do what the Samaritan did, show mercy and love, even to those who hate you.

The Samaritan didn’t walk over to the bleeding, dying man lying along the road and say, “Oh man, you look terrible. Well, I hope you get feeling better; I’ll pray for you. See you later.” No, he stopped, kneeled down and dressed the wounds, took him to safe shelter and cared for him. He demonstrated love. Specifically, he showed the kindness of 1 Corinthians 13:4 by taking merciful and gracious action toward someone who would have otherwise hated him.

So then, in our spiritual inventory, do you show that kind of love? As addicts, that is highly unlikely. Again, addiction makes us very selfish, so selfless kindness like that just doesn’t happen. We can do some “nice” things but there will be some type of selfish motivation. Godly, loving kindness moves to demonstrate compassion with no selfish motivation. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you what kind of love you have been showing:

How kind are you with close family?
How kind are you with extended family and friends?
How kind are you with acquaintances and strangers?
How kind are you with those who hate you?
These are best answer in light of how kind God is with you. His example is the requirement of Godly love.

Conclusion

Patience and kindness are the necessary passive and active responses of Godly love toward others. Patience allows us to be mistreated and still be compassionate instead of being bitter or vengeful. Kindness means taking compassionate action toward others. Addiction, even codependency, is an entirely selfish thing. To love with patience and kindness makes addiction difficult if not impossible because it removes the selfishness. This type of love is only possible through submission to the Spirit. As Step 1 says, I do not have the power to love like this on my own. Step 2 adds, only God has the power to produce that kind of love in me. Step 3 then tells us that we must give ourselves over to God, yielding to His will for us. Step 4 is where God shows us what needs to change about us so that we can be more like our perfect example and Saviour, Jesus.

Grace & Peace,
Pastor Mark

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