Daily Inventory

Step 10: We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
Principle 7: Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life and to gain the power to follow His will.

Theme of step 10 “So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!”

(1 Corinthians 10:12)

Tonight we will focus on the “how-to’s” of Step 10.

In Step 10 / Principle 7 we begin applying what we have discovered in the first 9 steps.  We humbly live daily—in reality, not denial.  We make amends for our mistakes and poor decisions.  We offer forgiveness when others hurt or offend us.  We start to take positive action – instead of constant reaction.  We grow daily in our new relationship with Jesus Christ and others.  Instead of attempting to be in control of every situation and every person…we start to exhibit self-control.  Yet it isn’t even self-control that I want…that will eventually fail me…what I really need is to be under God’s control.  How on earth do I do that?  How so I live under God’s control?

The answer is what we have been doing all through the Steps.  I live under God’s control by letting Him lead me through the Steps.  The Steps and Principles basically teach us to, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.  All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” (Matthew 22:37–40).  

The success of the 12 steps, of Celebrate Recovery, and of victory over your hurts and habits is to reject the message of the world, which says you just have to love yourself, love yourself, love yourself…that’s exactly how we end up hurt and addicted in the first place!  What you really need is to learn to love God with all of your heart, mind, and soul; then love others.  Loving yourself must be a result of God's love of you; you don't have to manufacture it for yourself.  Getting your full attention on God and learning to trust and love Him is what the steps are all about.  That’s were the victory is.  Just so we all understand what God means by love, read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.  

Maybe you’re not sure that the 12 Steps give you victory becuase God used them to being you to Himself.  Well let’s see.  You know that you cannot keep those two commands on my own (love God, love others).  You know that submitting to God is the only way you can.  Thus, you must decide to submit to God if there is going to be any change.  The first step in actually submitting to Him is through inventory as He begins to guide you into all truth about you and your life.  Along the way you need to admit it when you fall short and you have to continue to humble yourself, asking God to remove all shortcomings and failures  You need to make a list of people you’ve hurt and make amends to those people.  You also need to forgive those who have hurt you so that the resentment and anger can end.  You continue to do this through prayer, reading the Bible, and involvement with God’s people in order to improve your reliance and relationship with God.  You also need to tell others about what God has done in your life.  I need to do all of this too.  This is the process of recovery; it’s also how God draws you and I close to Himself.  It’s nothing new, the Bible has said this all along.

Step 10 Daily Action Plan

1.         Continue to take a daily inventory, and when you are wrong, promptly make your amends.
2.         Summarize the events of your day in your journal.
3.         Submit to God through the 7 principles and 12 steps.

Holiday Schedule

Great news!

Our holiday schedule has changed.  Rather than not meeting on December 20 and 27, we will have Celebrate Recovery those nights.

On December 13 we will have a special session to see a 40 minute video that will surely amaze you.  We will then continue meeting each Friday right into next year when we will restart with Step 1 and Principle 1. 

Crossroad

Principle 7: Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life and to gain the power to follow His will.

Step 10: We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.  “So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!” (1 Corinthians 10:12)

The Crossroad

If you’ve been following the steps to this point, you have arrived at a very important junction.  Here’s what you’ve done so far, you have: worked hard for a long time, faced your denial, surrendering your life to Jesus Christ, taken an honest look at your life by listing, confessing, and sharing all your wrongdoings, you’ve submitted to the changes that God wanted to make in you, offered your forgiveness to those that have hurt you, and made amends for all the harm that you have caused to others.  WOW! That’s quite a journey!  At the start most of us would have said that it was an impossible journey to make on our own; we could never have done the work that the first 9 steps ask of us…and we would be right. 

Perhaps some of us have not made that entire journey…maybe it loomed so large at the start, you never really started.  Maybe you did start, but we really only wanted one thing fixed and everything else was “off limits.”  Maybe you started and relapsed, and you’ve been in “the cycle.”  Maybe you feel as defeated as ever…this was just something else that didn’t work.  I know’ I’ve been there!  I don’t know about you, but for me I ended up there because I didn’t really follow the steps…I didn’t turn ALL of my life and will over to Christ, didn’t start or didn’t finish the spiritual inventory, didn’t admit my wrongs to God, myself, AND someone I trusted.  I didn’t submit to ALL the changes God wanted to make in me, and I didn’t forgive or make amends to everyone I should have.  So, I remained in “the cycle.”

My wife and I both work outside the home so I often do the laundry; I kinda like it actually.  I reuse the rinse water for the next load of wash and inevitably once per wash day the dryer stops and I find the washer full of water and dirty clothes.  Why: because it is stuck in the cycle…  After sucking the old rinse water back in, I neglected to advance the dial to the wash setting so my dirty laundry just sits there, all wet, still dirty, stuck in the cycle.  This happens not because the washing machine is defective; it happens because I fail to take the necessary steps to get it done.  It is the same with the 12 Steps.  If you’re still stuck in the cycle of addiction, recovery, and relapse, it’s not because the steps don’t work; it’s because you didn’t work the steps.

None of us can recover by ourselves, non our own power.  Our only hope is Jesus Christ.  We’ve got to stick to that decision we made in Step 3 to turn our lives and wills over to the care of Christ.  Jesus explains it this way in John 8:32 and 14:6, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.  I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”  We can only be set free from our addictions and our obsessive / compulsive behaviors when we embrace the “Truth” of Jesus Christ.  If you’ve truly followed the steps you know that is true.  This is why Principle 7 and Step 10 are called crossroads in your recovery.

Step 10 is not a place to stop and rest on past accomplishments.  We need to thank God for leading us this far on our road to recovery, to praise Him for the many victories over our hurts and habits so far. We may also need to ask forgiveness for not submitting to His leading, and start following the steps. Once we are at step 10, we need to continue working the last three steps with the same devotion and enthusiasm that got us to this point in our recoveries.  This is where we can easily relapse and get back into the cycle.  Much recovery material refers to Steps 10 through 12 (Principles 7 and 8) as the “maintenance steps.”  I understand why but there is a problem with our understanding of the word “maintenance.”  We tend to see “maintaining” as “coasting”  We are never coasting with God – we are either moving toward Him or away from Him.  It is in steps 10-12 and principles 7-9, that your recovery, your new way of living, really takes hold.  This is where you start to bear the fruit of all the changes that God and you have been working on together.  These are the steps that we ALL have to follow the rest of our lives.

Let’s preview Step 10 for next week.  There are three key parts of step 10 and we’ll use the acronym for TEN.  The first is Take time to do a daily inventory.  The second is to Evaluate the good and the bad.  The third is the Need to admit our wrongs promptly.  That’s where we’ll pick it up next week.

Forgivness

Before I get into a discussion about forgivness, I want to take a moment and thank the Lord for doing something amazing again.  God gave a vision for reaching out to the people of Beaver County at the New Brighton parade this past week and then He accomplished it.  Along the way He used some of us to help out, including Bob, Carol, Doug, Mark (not me, the other Mark), Mike, Missy, Nathaniel, Rob, Sally, and of course Terry.  Thanks to each of you for letting the Lord use your efforts in this.  The mobile prison was an extremely memorable and powerful tool.  I have posted two pictures of the our Celebrate Recovery float (I've removed all faces to "protect the innocent."  Now to last week's discussion...

Principle 6: Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.  “Blessed are the merciful…Blessed are the peacemakers.” (Mt 5:7, 9)

Step 8: We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.  “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” (Luke 6:31)

Before we can do these critical steps, we must first understand & embrace 1-4.

step 1 is understanding that I cannot deal with my hurt or habit on my own.
step 2 is understanding that God cares about me and He has the power and desire to help me recover.
step 3 is choosing to commit all of my life and will to Christ’s care and control.
step 4 is following the Holy Spirit as He leads me through a spiritual inventory.

All of your desire for recovery, and all the hard work will be worthless if you decide you are unable to forgive or be forgiven.  No matter how great the offenses we’ve endured or committed…the road to recovery goes thru forgiveness.  There are NO detours!  The #1 principle of Forgiveness is that it feels nothing like fairness.

God’s Forgiveness of us

Ephesians 1:7 says, “In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace.”  While 1 John 1:9 says, “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”  If you repent (turn from sin) and put your faith in Jesus Christ, He forgives you.  Why and how can He forgive me and you?  Because Jesus was the sacrifice for our sin, He did it because He loves you.  Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates His own love for us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”  That’s not fair – that Jesus died for our sin, but God lavishes mercy on us and provides forgiveness to those who believe.  John 20:31 says, “But these have been written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have eternal life in His name.”  If you have trusted in Christ, you can know that you’ve been forgiven, that you have eternal life.”  So, God will forgive you if you accept in faith, His Son’s sacrificial death and resurrection.  But, know that He will also require that you forgive those who sin against you…

Our forgiveness of others

It’s all about letting go.  Unforgiveness is like tug-of-war with a train…you can’t win.  Even if you moved it a foot, so what!  What would that have accomplished?  You strive, and fight, and exhaust yourself, refusing to give in.  The war will last until you die or decide to let go of the rope!  The Bible has much to say about forgiveness because it’s a BIG DEAL!  Ephesians 4:32 says, “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”    Matthew 6:14-15  says, “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”  Wow, read that one again.  Now I suggest you read Matthew 18:21-35.  How can we accept God’s forgiveness of our unpayable sin dept, and then refuse to forgive someone else’s sin against us?  God says you cannot.  How often do we want and need God to forgive us?  Once, or every time?  Yeah, every time!  How often does He expect us to forgive those who sin against us?  Once, no, it’s every time.

Our forgiveness of ourselves
Ever feel that your sin and guilt were too great, that you couldn’t be forgiven?  That, my friend is a lie from the pit of Hell.  God forgives lying, cheating, adulterous murderers – and that was King David.  God’s forgiveness is not based upon what evil you’ve done…its based upon the perfect blood of Christ, the sinless Lamb of God.  1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”  When God forgives you, the burden of guilt is lifted.  This is not some irresponsible “letting yourself off the hook…”  Rather, that sin was paid for, the debt is settled when we accept Jesus’ payment on our behalf! 

Principle 6: Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others. 

AMENDS

INTRODUCTION
Principle 6: Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.  “Blessed are the merciful…Blessed are the peacemakers.” (Matthew 5:7, 9)

Step 8: We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.  “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” (Luke 6:31)

 
Before we can do these critical steps, we must first understand & embrace steps 1-4
step 1 is understanding that I cannot deal with my hurt or habit on my own.
step 2 is understanding that God has the power and desire to help me recover.
step 3 is choosing to commit all of my life and will to Christ’s care and control.
step 4 is beginning to let God have control through a spiritual inventory of your life.

Tonight we shift focus from ourselves to the recovery of relationships.  If we have at least started the spiritual inventory, God has been revealing some things to us, things that needs be confessed and changed.  Addictive, compulsive things need to stop.  Healthy, productive things need to start.  People with whom we need to make amends for having hurt them by our actions and words. It’s time to make it right.

AMENDS

As with most other weeks, there is an acrostic for A.M.E.N.D.S.  Also like last week, we’ll talk about that acrostic, but we’re not spending all our time there.  First of all, what does it mean to make amends?  It means compensating for insult or injury, making restitution.  It’s something we seldom talk about unless we’re in court.  We don’t even hear much about it in Church.  We tend to not care how we hurt others, or if we do, we figure asking God to forgive us all that’s necessary.  No need to make restitution, right?  Wrong.  

Let’s start with that acrostic…

Admit the hurt and the harm that you’ve caused to others.  We’ve been dealing with our own hurts, now it’s time to consider how we have hurt or harmed other people.  You see, self-centeredness is a big part of our descent into addiction.  As an addict of anything I don’t really care what I do to anyone else as long as my addiction is satisfied for today.  As one holding resentment toward someone for the harm they’ve done to me, I want to hurt them back and take any opportunity to do so, even if I hurt another person in the process.  Shifting our focus off of us, that is forsaking our addictions and resentments and taking interest in doing what is right for someone else is a BIG part of recovery!

Make a List of people you to whom you need to make amends.  Column 5 on your Spiritual Inventory is a great place to start and add or subtract to it as the Lord leads.  Remember that we do this unless doing so would further hurt them or others.  You need to lean on the Lord’s wisdom for this, not your own.  Also, don’t worry about how you’ll make amends right now, you’re just making the list.

Encourage one another to make the list, prepare to make amends, and actually follow through.  Meet with your sponsor or accountability partner, let them look over the list, give you some feedback, and sign it to keep you accountable.

Not for them to apologize or make amends to you.  Do not try to pass blame on anyone else, especially them!  Don’t expect anything back.  Don’t make excuses or justify the hurtful actions or words you are making amends for.  Instead, go honestly, openly, humbly, and willingly.  Know that they may even get mad at you.

Do this at the best time for them.  It’s not about when you feel like making amends; this is about what’s best for them.  You go out of your way to make things right.

Start living the promises of recovery.  If you do all this just because you have to, if you do it begrudgingly, don’t even bother.  The person you go to will surly recognize your hypocrisy, and even if they don’t, God will.  BUT, if you are truly seeking victory over your hurts and habits, this will make perfect sense.  It will be something you want to do, even if you are apprehensive about it.  The best part is that as you honestly begin to make amends for the harm you have done, you begin to truly care about others again and you are on your way to recovery.

That’s the CR acrostic.  So is it Biblical?  Let’s find out…

What the Bible says about making AMENDS in the Old Testament.

Numbers 5:5-8 (NIV) says, “When a man or woman wrongs another in any way and so is unfaithful to the Lord, that person is guilty.”  Not only is our sin against the other person, it is also sin against the Lord.  God told them to confess, and then make restitution in full + 20% and if the person they had wronged was dead or not around, they were to make restitution to their next-of-kin.

Proverbs 14:9 says, “Fools mock at making amends for sin, but goodwill is found among the upright.”  God said that if you sin against another person, then confess and make restitution and if you didn’t obey that, you were a fool.

In 2 Samuel 12:6, the prophet Nathan confronts King David with a problem: some rich guy has stolen some poor guy’s stuff!  David is furious and orders fourfold restitution saying, “he (the thief) shall restore fourfold for the lamb, because he did this thing and because he had no pity.”  Then the prophet reveals that David is the thief!  Only instead of a lamb, it was a guy’s wife David stole (of course David also made sure the guy was killed in battle, which God rightfully called murder).  Because David did not of himself make confession, and was such a hypocrite on top of that, God makes the recompense, meaning He pays back David for his sin.  God said that “the sword shall never leave your house” (12:10).  Truly there was murder among David’s children after that.  This even though God did forgive David, “the Lord also had put away your sin (12:13b).  In the Old Testament, you either willingly made restitution along with your confession, or God made recompense.  It was better to do it willingly.

What the Bible says about making AMENDS in the New Testament.

Luke 6:31 says, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.”  Most of us have heard that, even if we’ve never been to church or read the Bible.  If someone does you wrong, you appreciate a confession and restitution, right?  We usually demand it, don’t we?  If someone hits your car, or even just cuts you off in traffic, we want to make them pay!  Our courts are beyond capacity with all the lawsuits as we demand restitution for wrongs done to us.  Lawyers get rich off of us all convincing us that we have a case and that they can get us money.  But when it comes to our making restitution for the wrongs we’ve done…forget it!

Matthew 5:23-24 says, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you; leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”  We know that verse from reading our CR 12 steps; it goes with step 9.  We usually want to make sure other people ask forgiveness of us before we ever want to consider making amends for the wrongs we’ve committed.  We want it backwards: that person needs to apologize to me, then I’ll think about apologizing!  But if you are coming before God, gathering at CR, at church, for your own prayer time or reading your Bible, “and you remember your brother has something against you…”  It doesn’t say, and you remember you have something against your brother.  This is not about you being offended by someone this is about you having offended someone.  God wants no part of your worship, praise or anything else if you have not made confession and restitution for your anger and insults to others.

Tonight’s open share questions:

1.   How has the guilt of having insulted and hurt someone affected your recovery?
2.   Who have you hurt and have yet to confess and make restitution?
3.   How have you tried to “pay off” your guilt by making some sacrifice to God?

Principle 5 / Step 7 Victory

INTRODUCTION
Principle 5: Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects.  “Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires.” (Matthew 5:6)
Step 7: We humbly asked Him to remove all our shortcomings.  “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

 

Before we can do these critical steps, we must first understand & embrace 1-3
1.   step 1 is understanding that I cannot deal with my hurt or habit on my own
2.   step 2 is understanding that God cares about me and He has the power and desire to help me deal with them
3.   step 3 is choosing to commit all of my life and will to Christ’s care and control

Tonight we continue to build upon and use the information the Lord revealed to us though our personal/spiritual inventory.  God has revealed many things in the inventory, including things that needs be confessed, addictive and compulsive behaviors that need to stop, as well as healthy and productive things that need to start.  So the question is, are you READY to have some VICTORY?

VICTORY

There is a short video that I’ve seen a few times that illustrates how we tend to keep ourselves from the victory available through Jesus Christ.  The fictional video begins with the guy playing Jesus walking up to a woman carrying a bag of garbage.  He gives her a friendly greeting but she is obviously embarrassed by having the trash with Jesus around.  She tries to hide it, but he asks her what is in the bag.  She stumbles around, trying to find the words; then signs and admits it is her garbage.  The guy playing Jesus smiles and offers to take the trash from her, but she resists.  At first she makes it sound really nice, as in she wouldn’t want Jesus to have to deal with her garbage, she made it, she’ll take care of it.  But Jesus assures her that he would be happy to get rid of it for her, after all that’s what he does.  She continues to resist but reluctantly gives way.  Except that she pulls one nasty container out of the garbage bag and insists that she will take care of that piece.  Jesus, concerned for her, assures her that it is best if he takes it and he even reaches for it.  She pulls away and hangs on tight, she sort of pleads for him to let her keep this nasty piece of garbage.  Then he asks why she wants to keep it.  She has no good reason.  The video ends with her being faced with the choice of giving her garbage over to Jesus or continuing to cling to that garbage.

It’s is a good illustration of what we do with our addictive, compulsive, and dysfunctional behaviors, with the hurts and habits that we know need to go, but yet we keep going back to them.  Jesus truly wants to free us from all of those things.  In fact, He has already done everything necessary to free us; that freedom became available by His sacrificial death, burial and resurrection to life.  The only thing left is for us to accept the truth that Jesus is the Son of God who takes away the sin of the world so that His victory over sin and the grave can be applied to us.  That is what steps 1-3 are all about after all.  I cannot free myself, God not only can, but did through Jesus, and I must accept that and turn my life and will over to Him.

That’s the start.  That is when we are set free from the power of our hurts, habits, addictions, compulsions, and sin.  Then over the rest of our lives, the Holy Spirit of God leads us to live according to that power.  He strengthens us, heals us, gives us a way of escape when temptation comes, teaches us, leads, us, picks us up when we fall, and comforts us.  He doesn’t force us into anything, but he lovingly disciplines us if we start to go astray.  But it is a cooperative effort between God and us.  He’ll do all that and more, above anything we expect, but it starts with the first point in our acronym for tonight…

Voluntarily submit

We need to submit to every change God wants to make in us.  Look, we can’t have different results if we keep doing the same things over and over, right?  If you’ve been playing in the mud, you don’t come clean unless you stop being around things that are muddy.  Now, He might stary in areas of our life that you don’t think have much to do with your issue, but God knows the root of what is happening and He begins to work at the root problems.  Romans 12:1-2 says, “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”  In order to have victory over your hurts and habits, you can’t just deal with surface issues and problems, you have to change the way you think; you have to use Godly wisdom, not human wisdom.

Identify

This is where you seek wisdom from the Holy Spirit, particularly through reading the Bible, prayer, time with people who are led by the Spirit, and the personal inventory.  God will reveal what He wants to work on first.  You cannot identify where to start unless you are listening to the Holy Spirit and you end up simply trying to recover on your own again.  Proverbs 16:9 says, “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.”  You want recovery, God gives each and every step.

Change your mind

Again, how you think needs to be converted from human wisdom, to God’s Wisdom (see 1 Corinthians 1-3).  The only way to get the old junk out, is to replace it with God’s Word.  We tend to just replace one bad habit with another, one bad relationship with another, one hurt with another.  Stop the cycle!  The only thing that works for lasting victory is to let God teach you think and act according to His wisdom.  2 Corinthians 5:17  says, “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, old things have passed away, behold all things have become new.”  The power of the old hurts and habits is broken in Christ and you are a new creature in Him.  We just have to learn how to live that way or we tend to go back because that’s all we know.

Turning your character defects over to Christ

I’m going to take a wild guess and say that we’ve all tried to change on our own.  We’ve tried to stop, tried to forgive, tried to tried to replace a hurt or habit with something we thought was better only to end up going back or just adding more hurts and habits to the original one.  We all know the cycle.  Look, that’s no way to live; it’s too hard.  The freeing truth is that you don’t have to fix yourself.  In fact you can’t, because like it or not, you are not God.  Stop relying those old, worn out methods that don’t work.  James 4:10 says, “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.”

One day at a time

Hurts and habits not developed overnight, neither is positive change. It takes a daily decision to give your life and will to Christ’s care and control. Those can’t just be words that we say, we need to actually invest time with the Lord, again though reading the Bible, prayer, and time with others who are Spirit-led. Each day, everyday, focusing on Him and not worrying about tomorrow. James 4:14-15 says, “you do not know what will happen tomorrow…you ought to say ‘if the Lord will’s, we shall live and do this or that.’”

Recovery is a process

It is not an immediate fix.  Along the way your decision to turn your life and will over to Christ will be tested.  I often say the step 4 (the personal inventory) is test #1.  How many people come to a 12 step recovery program for months or years, saying they’ve made that decision in step 3, but they’ve never done the inventory.  The truth is, not doing the inventory is evidence that you just want a quick fix and you haven’t turned anything over.  God will lead you to recovery, but you’ve got to learn to trust Him.  He doesn’t ask you to do some great feat of devotion to earn your forgiveness!  He just wants you to take the steps He gives you; like the inventory.  Just baby steps of trust and over time you will see that He is faithful no matter what He leads you to do.  Romans 8:30 says, “Moreover, whom He predestined, these He also called, whom He called, these He also justified, and whom He justified, these He also glorified.”  What He starts He will finish.

You must choose to change

It’s up to you, God won’t force you.  Just remember Romans 6:16 which says, “Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves slaves to obey, you are that one’s slave whom you obey, whether of sin leading to death, or of obedience leading to righteousness.”  You can either let God change you and free you from your hurts and habits, or you can go back to those old hurts and habits.

Tonight’s questions:

1.   As you voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make, how does Romans 12:1-2 help you know that real change is possible?
2.   What are some specific ways you have stopped relying on your willpower and started relying on God’s will for you?
3.   What is humility and what does it have to do with the changes you need to make?

Principle 5 / Step 6

Introduction
Principle 5: Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects.  “Happy are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness.” (Matthew 5:6)
Step 6: We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.  “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” (James 4:10)
 
Before we can do these critical steps, we must first understand & embrace steps 1-3
step 1 is understanding that I cannot deal with my hurt or habit on my own
step 2 is understanding that God cares about me and He has the power and desire to help me deal with them.
step 3 is choosing to commit all of my life and will to Christ’s care and control

I want to start tonight by telling you a true story about some guys in addiction.  It wasn’t drugs, alcohol, or lust, but an addiction none-the-less.  In fact, one of the most addictive, and difficult to overcome issues because it’s thought by many to be good thing.  It was an addiction to self and pride.  The Scripture tells us, “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (1 Peter 5:5)  Traveling through Galilee on way to Capernaum Jesus says, “The Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of men, and they will kill Him. An,d after He is killed, He will rise the third day” (Mark 9:30-35).  The most unselfish act in history – God taking on human form to die for us, but the disciples don’t understand and just go on with their conversation.  In Capernaum, Jesus said, “what were you arguing about on the way here?” (Mk 9:35-36)  “But they kept silent, for on the road they had disputed among themselves who would be the greatest.  And He sat down, called the twelve, and said to them, ‘If anyone desires to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all.’”  Addictions are not scabs that can be scraped off with just a little scar left behind.  Addictions are rooted deep down in hurts, habits, and ultimately in pride.  Pride says, “I can handle this myself.  It’s not my fault.  It’s not a big deal.”  But what we learn the hard way is that we can’t handle it on our own.  Proverbs 16:18, “Pride goes before destruction, And a proud spirit before a fall.”   Prov 13:10, “by pride comes nothing but strife.”  And Prov 29:23, “a man’s pride will bring him low, but the humble in spirit will retain honor.”  Pride leads us into selfishness, escape, resentments, loneliness, emptiness…and leads us away from God our only source of help.  And again, “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (1 Peter 5:5).  Jesus’ disciples were still struggling with pride, arguing over who would be greatest in His Kingdom.  Meanwhile, Jesus was the perfect example of humility and being self-less .

That’s His example to us…

READY

Release Control
Sounds a lot like step 3 / principle 3 right?  Principle 3 was, “Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control,” while Step 3 was, “We made a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God.”  It requires making a decision to release control to Christ.  Then in Step 4 we did inventory so the Spirit could show us what needed to change.  Now we need to follow thru on that decision to commit my life and will to Christ’s care and control and deal with the things He brought out in the inventory.  If you didn’t do inventory yet, it’s never too late to start.  Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”

Easy Does It

We want quick fixes and immediate results, right?  God doesn’t usually fix everything over night.  He does make radical changes and many are right away, especially when we get saved and get the Holy Spirit; life is greatly different!  But this is a life-long co-operative process with the Holy Spirit.  So if you only want rid of some hurt or habit…if you’re not committed to giving your entire life & will over to Christ…you’re far from done with step 3 (choosing to commit) and 4 (the inventory).  Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.”

Accept the Change

There is a big gap between seeing the need for change, and allowing change to occur.  That gap is filled with fear, doubt, old desires, etc.  That’s why those first 4 steps are so important.  Did you really decide to give all your life and will to Christ?  Do you really want to make the changes the Spirit identified in the inventory?  Consider 1 Peter 1:13-16, “Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, “Be holy, for I am holy.”

Do Replace Your Character Defects
This is only done through the Holy Spirit and your involvement with the Word and the Church, and you desperately need both.  Christ is your only hope for salvation and righteousness.  Can you be in Christ (the Word Made Flesh) and not reading the Word?  Can you be in Christ and snub His Bride who is one flesh with Him?  No.  You need the Word and the Church – that’s the way God declares it to be.  If you don’t have the Spirit or you ignore Him, replacing your character defects is impossible; you’ll replace one vice with another, one habit for another, one hurt or another and the end will be worse than the beginning as the old hurt/habit will return.  Like it says in             Matthew 12:43-45, “When an unclean spirit goes out of a man, he goes through dry places, seeking rest, and finds none.  Then he says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when he comes, he finds it empty, swept, and put in order.  Then he goes and takes with him seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man is worse than the first.”

Yield to the Growth

As the Spirit begins to make changes and you begin seeing the evidence, embrace it, let it continue, cooperate fully!  Don’t pat yourself on the back and “reward” your good progress with a relapse!  Psalm 32:8-9, “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye.  Do not be like the horse or like the mule, which have no understanding, which must be harnessed with bit and bridle else they will not come near you.”  Are you READY to end the frustration, the exhaustion, the failure, and yield to Christ?

Principle 4 / Step 5 Confess

Introduction
If you’re like me, there have been some addictions in your life, some idols you’ve worshipped.  I’m not talking about idols of wood, stone, or marble; an idol is anything we love or worship more than God.  Some common idols today are money, pleasure, pride, physical appearance, relationships, entertainment, etc…  We become addicted to the worship of these idols through gambling, lust, self-indulgence, materialism, co-dependency, and certainly drug and alcohol use.  My desire is to tear the idols down, forsake them, and worship God instead.  Now, I can totally beat myself up trying to do that on my own.  In fact, I’ve tried the “normal” recommendations…physically removing the object of my addiction from me, restricting my access to it.  That works for about 45 minutes, but it doesn’t get to the real problem…me – my desires, my thoughts, my misguided worship. 

I have found that Celebrate Recovery is critical to our success at overcoming our addictions, tearing down our idols, and getting to the worship of the One True God.  I’m constantly reminded that I desperately need God, His Son Jesus Christ, and His Holy Spirit, to give me the wisdom, strength and stamina to make the changes I need to make and stay on the right path.  Through CR I’ve learned much about how sin and addiction work – no matter what the sin or addiction is.  I’ve seen the reality of God’s Word played out because it is truth.

Tonight we continue with CR’s Principle 4: Openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God, and to someone I trust.  “Happy are the pure in heart” Matthew 5:8.  But we move onto Step 5: We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed” (James 5:16).

Before we can do principle 4, step 5 or any that follow, we must first understand & embrace principles and steps 1-3:
Step 1 is understanding that I cannot deal with my hurt or habit on my own.
Step 2 is understanding that God cares about me and He has the power and desire to help me deal with them.
Step 3 is choosing to commit all of my life and will to Christ’s care and control.

We must understand and embrace these first 3 steps and make the choice of step 3…to commit my life and will to Christ.  We simply cannot move on successfully without them.  Many have tried, some even seem to be successful, but the reality is that you don’t want a recovery where everyday feels like it could be the day it starts all over again and like any moment the addiction could step in and retake control.  You don’t want to feel like that hurt or habit has just been buried and covered over as it waits to explode back into your life.  I’m guessing that you would rather know and experience true freedom from the hurts and habits.  I want that for you too, but the simple truth is this: you won’t have that freedom unless you understand and embrace steps 1-3 and make the commitment to Christ of step 3.  That is the start.  The process then moves forward with the spiritual inventory of step 4 and continues through the remaining steps. 

Confess
I want to start tonight by telling you a true story about a guy with an addiction.  Even as a young man he had it all – wealth, power, influence.  He had a godly father and he had a good upbringing from what we know.  But along the way he got tangled up in pride, lust, and rebelliousness.  His name was Manasseh and you can read about him in 2 Chronicles 33 of the Bible which says he was one of the most evil kings in Judah (the two southern tribes of divided Israel).  He was warned that his actions, words, and leading were an offence to God, but he did not listen.  He continued down the path of pursuing his addictions.  No doubt God warned him many times, but he only went deeper into rebellion.  Finally God moved against him using the armies of Assyria.  Manasseh was taken prisoner, had a hook placed through his nose, and was dragged off to captivity.  There in his prison, Manasseh cried out to God and humbled himself.  Because he humbled himself and confessed, God restored him to his throne in Jerusalem, and Manasseh “knew that the Lord is God.”  Then Manasseh tore down the idols and began to worship the Lord.  His remaining years were full of peace, contentment, strength, and he was a godly influence among the people of Judah. 

I love this account of Manasseh.  It is an amazing story of God’s mercy and grace.  Manasseh knew the truth, but rebelled and fell into addictions to all kids of idols.  Those addictions brought him to ruin and despair.  Then he humbled himself and cried out to God.  Did God tell him, “You got what you deserved?”  No.  Did God say, “Tough for you, I warned you?”  No.  God heard the humble cry of Manasseh’s heart and answered him, restoring him and giving him peace and joy as Manasseh gave himself to worshiping God. 

That’s what God does.  The Bible is loaded with such stories, and He is still running the same kind of rehab today.  Now the account of Manasseh may or may not strike a cord with you.  Maybe you had good parents and a good upbringing…maybe not.  Maybe your parents taught you to love the Lord…maybe not.  Maybe you remember developing habits that drove you further away from God, or maybe you remember deep hurts that drove you away.  Maybe you can remember times when the Lord used the words of people around you to warn you that you were choosing a difficult and harmful path…and you ignored them.  Maybe, like Manasseh, you came to, or have come to, the place where all your efforts have landed you in some kind of prison.  Perhaps an actual prison, or a prison of memories, of hurt, of unstoppable behavior, of guilt; there are many prisons.

The One True Higher Power, the Lord God, is a God of compassion, mercy, forgiveness, strength, love.  Your desire to put away the addictions, the idols, the misplaced love is the place to start…to start trusting God.  He opens His recovery house to you when you commit to trust, commit, worship, and love Him.

One of the first tests of your commitment to give your life and will to Christ’s care and control is the spiritual inventory, the second major test is to confess.  Below is Celebrate Recovery’s acronym for c.o.n.f.e.s.s.

Come Clean
Come clean with our failures and resentments, take responsibility for sins discovered in our inventory.  Proverbs 28:13 says, “He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.”

Obey God’s Command
It’s not just a helpful suggestion.  One of the first commands is to humble yourself and confess…to myself, to Him, and to someone I trust.  READ Psalm 32:3-5.  James 5:16 says, “Confess your sins to one another, and pray for each other, that you may be healed.”

No more guilt

Talk about freedom!  The reality is that openness, truth, and honesty bring freedom.  Romans 3:23-24 says, “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified (declared not guilty) freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.”

These last 4 are four areas of your life that will improve by doing Principle 4/Step 5…
Face the truth
Face the reality of your sin, the reality of forgiveness, the reality of restoring relationships…with God and people.  Today people try to tell us that we determine our own truth; it is a huge lie.  God’s Word is truth, and we need continual interaction with it.  John 8:32 says, “And you shall know the Truth, and the Truth shall set you free.”

Ease the pain

Our addictions, hurts and habits keep us sick and in pain.  Confessing them removes the burden of guilt and gets things into the light so we can deal with them instead of hiding them.  Psalm 32:1-2 says, “Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.  Blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit.”

Stop the blame
We blame others for what we’ve done and blame ourselves for what others have done.  Blaming solves nothing, it’s nothing more than a form of escape which solves nothing.  Instead we need to know and deal with our additions in truth.  Matthew 7:3 says, “And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?

Start accepting God
Accept His forgiveness, His taking away the guilt and burden, His love for us, and His compassion or others.  1 John 4:11 says, “Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

Seven Reasons Our Recovery Fails

Before we jump back into Step 4 and the Personal Inventory, I want to share with you some very helpful insights from the Celebrate Recovery manual.  This is certainly something to think about all the time.  Below are 7 common reasons people relapse and some ways to aviod it...

You have not completely done or even bought into the previous step.  We want instant success, immediate results, and recovery yesterday, but it doesn’t work that way.  We have built our addictions and idols over years but recovery takes time, effort, and most of all, cooperation with God.  What we can do right now is choose to do what it takes, and daily make that same choice.  You can’t skip or rush ahead on the steps and think you’ll just the bare minimum to get you through.  You especially cannot skip steps 1-4!  Galatians 5:25 says, “If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.”

You have not truly surrendered your life and will to Christ’s care and control (step 3).  You want God to fix your problem, but then you want Him to leave you alone.  You are not willing to give yourself to Him, to love and to serve.  That means you are choosing to be on your own.  In Joshua 23-24, there is a review of all God had done for Israel when He led them out of Egypt through Moses (and by the way, 1 Cor 10 says these things happened as an example to us).  God won their battles, drove out their enemies who were given over to idolatry, false gods, and all kinds of evil according to God.  Then Joshua 23:11 says, “Therefore take careful heed to yourselves, that you love the Lord your God.”  In verse 12 and beyond it says that if you don’t love and serve God, but go back to the idols and false gods, God will not fight for you anymore.  The reality is that God will fight your battles, but only if you love and give yourself to Him.  

You have not accepted God’s forgiveness, possible only through Jesus.  You think your sin is too big to be forgiven; that lie keeps you defeated and keeps you from trusting God.  1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

You have not truly forgiven others who have harmed you.  Until you decide to forgive them, you will be a prisoner to anger, resentment, frustration, and hate.  Proverbs 10:18 says, “He who conceals his hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool.”  1 John 2:9 says, “anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness.”  1 John 3:15 says, “Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him.”  Galatians 5:5 says, “If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out! Or you will be destroyed by one another.

You are afraid of the risk in making necessary changes.  You are paralyzed by fear of failure – which guarantees it.  Resisting God and the changes He wants to make for fear of the unknown.  So you choose the hurt and habit which is what you do know.  Maybe you stopped for fear of rejection or being hurt again. Deuteronomy 31:6 says, “Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” Psalm 118:6 says, “The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?”

You are not willing to own your responsibility.  You shift blame instead of taking responsibility which means you’ll never deal with truth.  Psalm 139:23-24 says, “Search me , O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

You have not developed an effective support team.  You have no accountability partners, no sponsor, maybe a church family but that’s only an hour or so a week, maybe CR a couple hours a week.  Yet you have lots of time with those old places, people who lead you into temptation, and time alone.  That is a sure recipe for relapse and failure.  Galatians 6:2-3 says, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.  For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.”

GRACE

Principle 6: Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.

“Blessed are the merciful; Blessed are the peacemakers.” (Matthew 5:7,9)

Step 8 & 9 (combined): We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all (8), and we did so (9).

GRACE

God’s grace meets you where you are, but does not leave you where it found you.  In 1 Peter 5:5, we are told, “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”  It is the same message given in Proverbs 3:34.  The context of 1 Peter 5 is about submitting to each other and humbling yourself before God that He may lift you up.  But Proverbs 3 and 1 Peter 5 are not the only places you find this teaching in Scripture; it is also found in James 4:6, but let’s with James 4:1-3…

“Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.

Fights and wars…ever have any of those?  We wouldn’t have to talk about forgiveness and making amends if we didn’t have fights and wars, right?  We fight with our parents, authorities, our spouse, kids, friends, strangers.  Even church people fight, which is disgraceful.  After all, WHY do we fight and war?  Well as James 4:1-3 says, it’s because of the desires for pleasure that war in our minds and bodies.  You insist and firmly believe that your way is right, mine is wrong.  You choose to live your life to suit yourself, right?  “It’s all about me!”  Well, when your life is all about you, and my life is all about me, eventually we are going to have a problem!

If your life is all about getting that next drink, next fix, that release, that money, that “me time”… but your spouse has different expectations of you, if your spouse wants you to do something else, you’re going to have conflict.  James goes on to say, “you murder and covet and cannot obtain.”  Well, maybe you don’t literally murder, but in your heart you murder.  In Matthew 5:22 Jesus said that anyone who is angry at someone without cause is in danger of the same judgment as a murderer.  We are really good at character assassination and degrading others.  We covet selfish pleasure and ambitions, or we covet revenge or humiliation of anyone who offends us.  These verses go on to say that if you do ask, you ask amiss, or wrongly, wanting only to fulfill your own personal satisfaction and gratification.  The worst part is that when you go on living for your own desires, pleasures, and ambitions you find yourself empty, lonely, and exhausted.

Now, does any of that sound like humility?  Of course not, it is prideful and self-centered.  Pride and self-centeredness lead to conflict, hurts, addictions and resentments.  So again, “God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.”  James 4:4-6 puts it very bluntly. 

“Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you think that the Scripture says in vain, ‘The Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously’?”  

Why does it call you out as an adulterer or adulteress?  Because if you’ve come to faith in Christ…you belong to Him.  Yet you chase after the old lusts…your way which leads to conflict hurts, addictions, and resentments.  Demanding your way causes you to fight and war because such demands and desires are friendship with the world…friendship with those old things you used to chase after.  James says that you make yourself an enemy of God by doing this.  If you do this as someone who claims to follow Christ, you really have put yourself in conflict with God.  You are His Temple because you have received the Holy Spirit.  Can we be the Temple of God and the temple of an idol too?  Certainly not, there is no room for your will, your addiction, or your resentment.

So what do we do?  Well, read James 4:6-10.

“But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: ‘God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’  Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.  Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.  Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom.  Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.”

None of us deserve God’s grace, it is His undeserved favor toward us.  When you humble yourself before Him, trust in His Son, commit yourself to Him…and continue to do so…

He pours His grace upon you.

G.R.A.C.E.

Guilty

Grace is not earned or deserved…otherwise it would be wages.  You have earned wages: Romans 3:23 says, “for all have sinned and come short of the glory of God” and Romans 6:23 says, “the wages of sin is death.”  we have all pursued, even demanded “my will be done” which is worshipping yourself instead of worshipping God. 

     

Redeemed (purchased)

Yet God offers forgiveness to you.  Not just forgiveness, but freedom from selfishness, sinful pride, and rebellion, freedom from the penalty of sin because Jesus paid the penalty it for you.

Accepted

Because of Jesus’ sacrifice for your sin on the Cross, you can be redeemed and God will apply Jesus’ payment to your sin (a price you cannot pay).  He will then accept you as His adopted child, but only when you accept Jesus as your Saviour.

Child

Redeemed, accepted, now you belong to Him.  He continues to give grace to the humble…  grace for victory over hurts and habits, grace for accepting forgiveness when someone does you wrong, grace for offering forgiveness when you do wrong to someone else, and grace for getting through the trials and difficulties of this life.

Everlasting

As a Child of God, He promises you eternal life, free from the fear of judgment because the required payment has been paid.

That’s what Step 6 is about…grace.

Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.

You can try to do that on your own, but like any addiction, it’ll return or shift to something else.  Your best attempt at forgiveness or making amends will come to some self-serving action that is not heart-felt (except to get yourself out of trouble or appease your guilt).  You will eventually take back your forgiveness or create new resentments because you are doing it without grace.  God is the only source of true grace and He resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.  As a recipient of His grace you are expected to grant that grace to others.