GRACE

Principle 6: Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.

“Blessed are the merciful; Blessed are the peacemakers.” (Matthew 5:7,9)

Step 8 & 9 (combined): We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all (8), and we did so (9).

GRACE

God’s grace meets you where you are, but does not leave you where it found you.  In 1 Peter 5:5, we are told, “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”  It is the same message given in Proverbs 3:34.  The context of 1 Peter 5 is about submitting to each other and humbling yourself before God that He may lift you up.  But Proverbs 3 and 1 Peter 5 are not the only places you find this teaching in Scripture; it is also found in James 4:6, but let’s with James 4:1-3…

“Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.

Fights and wars…ever have any of those?  We wouldn’t have to talk about forgiveness and making amends if we didn’t have fights and wars, right?  We fight with our parents, authorities, our spouse, kids, friends, strangers.  Even church people fight, which is disgraceful.  After all, WHY do we fight and war?  Well as James 4:1-3 says, it’s because of the desires for pleasure that war in our minds and bodies.  You insist and firmly believe that your way is right, mine is wrong.  You choose to live your life to suit yourself, right?  “It’s all about me!”  Well, when your life is all about you, and my life is all about me, eventually we are going to have a problem!

If your life is all about getting that next drink, next fix, that release, that money, that “me time”… but your spouse has different expectations of you, if your spouse wants you to do something else, you’re going to have conflict.  James goes on to say, “you murder and covet and cannot obtain.”  Well, maybe you don’t literally murder, but in your heart you murder.  In Matthew 5:22 Jesus said that anyone who is angry at someone without cause is in danger of the same judgment as a murderer.  We are really good at character assassination and degrading others.  We covet selfish pleasure and ambitions, or we covet revenge or humiliation of anyone who offends us.  These verses go on to say that if you do ask, you ask amiss, or wrongly, wanting only to fulfill your own personal satisfaction and gratification.  The worst part is that when you go on living for your own desires, pleasures, and ambitions you find yourself empty, lonely, and exhausted.

Now, does any of that sound like humility?  Of course not, it is prideful and self-centered.  Pride and self-centeredness lead to conflict, hurts, addictions and resentments.  So again, “God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.”  James 4:4-6 puts it very bluntly. 

“Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you think that the Scripture says in vain, ‘The Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously’?”  

Why does it call you out as an adulterer or adulteress?  Because if you’ve come to faith in Christ…you belong to Him.  Yet you chase after the old lusts…your way which leads to conflict hurts, addictions, and resentments.  Demanding your way causes you to fight and war because such demands and desires are friendship with the world…friendship with those old things you used to chase after.  James says that you make yourself an enemy of God by doing this.  If you do this as someone who claims to follow Christ, you really have put yourself in conflict with God.  You are His Temple because you have received the Holy Spirit.  Can we be the Temple of God and the temple of an idol too?  Certainly not, there is no room for your will, your addiction, or your resentment.

So what do we do?  Well, read James 4:6-10.

“But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: ‘God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’  Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.  Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.  Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom.  Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.”

None of us deserve God’s grace, it is His undeserved favor toward us.  When you humble yourself before Him, trust in His Son, commit yourself to Him…and continue to do so…

He pours His grace upon you.

G.R.A.C.E.

Guilty

Grace is not earned or deserved…otherwise it would be wages.  You have earned wages: Romans 3:23 says, “for all have sinned and come short of the glory of God” and Romans 6:23 says, “the wages of sin is death.”  we have all pursued, even demanded “my will be done” which is worshipping yourself instead of worshipping God. 

     

Redeemed (purchased)

Yet God offers forgiveness to you.  Not just forgiveness, but freedom from selfishness, sinful pride, and rebellion, freedom from the penalty of sin because Jesus paid the penalty it for you.

Accepted

Because of Jesus’ sacrifice for your sin on the Cross, you can be redeemed and God will apply Jesus’ payment to your sin (a price you cannot pay).  He will then accept you as His adopted child, but only when you accept Jesus as your Saviour.

Child

Redeemed, accepted, now you belong to Him.  He continues to give grace to the humble…  grace for victory over hurts and habits, grace for accepting forgiveness when someone does you wrong, grace for offering forgiveness when you do wrong to someone else, and grace for getting through the trials and difficulties of this life.

Everlasting

As a Child of God, He promises you eternal life, free from the fear of judgment because the required payment has been paid.

That’s what Step 6 is about…grace.

Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.

You can try to do that on your own, but like any addiction, it’ll return or shift to something else.  Your best attempt at forgiveness or making amends will come to some self-serving action that is not heart-felt (except to get yourself out of trouble or appease your guilt).  You will eventually take back your forgiveness or create new resentments because you are doing it without grace.  God is the only source of true grace and He resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.  As a recipient of His grace you are expected to grant that grace to others.

Serenity prayer – by Reinhold Niebuhr

Every week we read the serenity prayer, but has it become rote?  Do we say it just to say it, or do we still understand and consider what it is really saying?  Tonight, we are going to take a little break from the spiritual inventory and consider the Serenity Prayer.

First of all, we need to understand what serenity is, from a Biblical perspective.  Serenity could be mean “tranquility,” like when you imagine a quiet meadow or brook and get relaxed in that moment.  But that kind of serenity / tranquility is not in the Bible, not as a method for coping or recovering.  Maybe as a way of praising God, like when we consider the works of His hands and find peace in knowing that the God we love and serve is the mighty Creator of all things.  I believe a more Biblical understanding of serenity is “contentment.” It is peace amid chaos.  Psalm 23 says, “though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for Your rod and staff comfort me.”  That is Biblical contentment!  As is Philippians 4:11-12. “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content:  I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.”  See also 1 Tim 6:6-10 and Hebrews 13:5-6.

That’s what we need, peace and contentment in the midst of the trials and struggles of life, not some fleeting image of a quiet meadow to make us happy.  Now, lets consider the words of this famous prayer.

Serenity and change

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…”
What can’t we change?  Lots of things, most everything in fact.  We certainly can’t change another person’s actions or attitudes.  What else can’t you change?

“…the courage to change the things I can…”

What can I change?  Mostly the actions that I take.  How I spend my time, with the Body of Christ or with idols.  What else do you think you can change?

"…and the wisdom to know the difference…”

How do we really know what we can and cannot change?  We need God’s wisdom.  How do we get God’s wisdom?  It only comes from God thru His Word and His Church (1 Corinthians 1:18-3:3).

Dealing with life

“…living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time…”
Read James 4:13-17.  Life is a vapor, we don’t know if we’ll survive tomorrow so it is better to focus on God’s will, not ours.  What are some things God tells us in His Word are His Will?  Well, believing in the name of Jesus, renewing our minds, and fulfilling our part in the Body of Christ.

“…accepting hardship as a pathway to peace…”

Now read James 1:2-3 and 1 Peter 1:3-9.  Some trials and hardships we bring on ourselves due to sin.  Some trials and hardships God brings to us as a purifying fire.  Still others God permits so that we learn to trust Him and lean upon His strength.  This is a key phrase that we just don’t want to accept.  We want zero pain, zero difficulty, but that isn’t how life works.  Instead, God uses hardship in this short life we have to prepare and strengthen us, all along teaching us to trust Him. 

“…taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it…”

Taking the world is the way it is means understanding that people are enslaved to sin, immersed in hurts and habits.  Without Christ, that’s who we are.  He came to the world, not to eliminate those things yet, but to give victory over sin and death to those who believe in Him.  He came to redeem us…it is us He changes, not the world.  We must learn to live in this world without being corrupted by it.  Read 1 Cor 5:9-11.  God doesn’t save us and take us out of this world.  He leaves us here and purifies us despite the filth of the world, as a witness of Him and His healing power.

Trusting Him

“…trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your Will…”
We already mentioned some things that we know are God’s Will.  We need to understand that “all things right” does not mean “easy life.”  It means “all things working together for the good of those who love Him,” including the hardships.  That will be true IF you surrender to His Will.

“…so that I may be reasonable happy in this life…”

1 Thessalonians 2:19 says, “For what is our hope, or joy, or crown of rejoicing? Is it not even you in the presence of our Lord Jesus Christ at His coming?”  God gives His children happiness, but not the kind that comes according to our selfish and sinful desires!  What does the Bible say gives a believer happiness?...Doing the will of God, seeing others come to faith and grow in faith, and doing our part of the Body of Christ, that is the Church.  If we are not doing our God-given part in the Body of Christ we will not be happy and will become discouraged, once discouraged, we will be very susceptible to returning to what used to make us “happy,” those empty hurts and habits.

“…and supremely happy with You in the next.”

That is when the hurts and habits, pain and trials end for good.  In the mean time, He guides, comforts, strengthens, and loves His children.