Sponsor

Principle 4: Openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God, and to someone I trust.

“Happy are the pure in heart.” (Matthew 5:8)

Step 4: We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

“Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.” (Lamentations 3:40)

 

Before we begin Step 4, we must review Steps 1-3.  Step 1 is understanding that I cannot deal with my hurt or habit on my own.  Step 2 is understanding that God cares about me and He has the power and desire to help me recover.  Step 3 is choosing to commit all of my life and will to Christ’s care and control.  We must understand these 1^st 3 steps and choose to commit.  Trying to move onto Steps 4-12 without fully understanding Steps 1-2 and especially without the decision to give your life to Christ’s care in Step 3, will only lead to more frustration and failure.

Tonight we continue to recognize our need for help and reach out for it.  Tonight, those who have been through the 12 steps and have been living for Christ need to make themselves available to be part of that help to someone else.  Tonight we talk about sponsors.

The Biblical precedence for sponsors.  Let me start by saying that “sponsors” are not mentioned in Scripture, but the role of sponsors in CR is modeled after Biblical instruction and examples.  So, while the people we will discuss from the Bible are not called “sponsors,” they served the same kind of role as a sponsor for CR.

There are many statements in the Bible that tell us we need other people to not only hold us accountable for doing the right thing, but also for people who help us grow in our relationship with the Lord.  One example is Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, “    Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor.  For if they fall, one will lift up his companion, but woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up…Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him, and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

This teaching supports the idea of an accountability partner, someone who is working toward recovery with you, at roughly the same step as you.  Some other examples are Proverbs 27:17 and of course James 5:16 (which is the key verse for Step 5).

As for sponsors, Proverbs 19:20 is a good example, “Listen to counsel and receive instruction, that you may be wise in your latter days.”

Perhaps you’ve heard of the Apostle Paul?  God used him in writing about half of the New Testament.  Paul started off named “Saul” and he persecuted followers of Christ, had Stephen stoned to death, killed and sent many others to jail.  But then he gets saved on the road to Damascus and begins to follow Christ.  When he arrives back at Jerusalem, the church did not trust him and would have turned him away.  That’s when Barnabas (whose name means “son of encouragement”) began to intercede for Saul.  You can read about it in Acts 9:26-30.  Later, Barnabas was sent to help the new church in Antioch and he goes and gets Saul to help him.  During that time, he mentored and instructed Saul as they served Christ together (Acts 11:19-26).  After a couple years, the Holy Spirit calls Barnabas and Saul to go on a mission, preaching the Gospel and during that first trip, Saul’s name is changed to Paul and he takes the lead of the group Acts 13:1-2).  Barnabas was greatly used by God in the life of Paul, equipping, encouraging, and instructing him.

Paul soon begins to do the same for some others including Luke, Timothy, Silas…and Onesimus.
We learn of Onesimus in the New Testament book of Philemon, which is a “God-breathed” letter from Paul to his friend Philemon.  Philemon owned a slave named Onesimus.  Onesimus had betrayed Philemon and run away, along his way he runs into Paul who leads Onesimus to faith in Christ.  So Paul sends this letter in Onesimus’ hand back to Philemon, asking Philemon to forgive Onesimus and tells Philemon to charge any amount owed to “Paul’s account.”  He also encourages Philemon to recognize Onesimus as a brother of Paul, and himself…  Paul asks that Philemon send Onesimus back to him as he was a great help to Paul.  Paul was investing in the life of Onesimus, equipping, encouraging, and instructing him.

That is what being a sponsor is about: investing in the life of another.

SPONSOR – the 5 common questions
1.  Why do I need a sponsor and/or accountability partner?
Because I need someone who speaks truth…
Not someone to fight your battles, but to help, support, encourage, and be an advocate.  Paul wrote to Timothy in preparing him to begin mentoring others as well, “use the Word of God for ‘doctrine, reproof, correction, and instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work’” (2 Tim 3:16-17).  A sponsor is not proud or feeding you his/her opinions…a sponsor speaks God’s Truth into your life from God’s Word.

Because a sponsor or accountability partner hold me accountable for my actions…
Helping you maintain an honest view of reality at each Step; many people fail to recover bc they are not honest with themselves.  See that you make fellowship with the Body of Christ (CR, church, etc) a priority in your schedule; hurts and habits don’t take time off of pursuing you!  Holding you accountable for prayer, feasting on the Word of God, and loving/obeying God; if you omit this, you’re done.  Encouraging you to serve within the Body of Christ – at church and CR; getting your focus off of you!

Because a sponsor / accountability partner help guard against relapse…
Their feedback rebukes dysfunctional & self-defeating patterns that you might not even recognize in yourself.  They confront in love without placing blame or guilt as Ecclesiastes 7:5 says, “It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise than for a man to hear the song of fools.”

2.  What is the difference between a sponsor and an accountability partner?
Sponsor = someone who has completed the 12 steps, is living a victorious life, and who is themselves dependant upon the Word of God, and loves the Lord with all of their heart, mind, soul, and strength.  A sponsor is someone to help guide you through the program & keep you focused, share Truth from the Word of God, especially with step 4 coming!

Accountability partner = someone who may be at the same point in recovery as you.  The goal is mutual accountability for certain areas of your life.  This can be more than one person.

Seriously, many people give up on their recovery in step 4, you need a sponsor and accountability partners!  If you meet the qualifications of a sponsor, others need you as a sponsor!

3.  What are the qualifications of a sponsor?
No one is going to be perfect and no sponsor is your “saviour.”  But here are some basic things you should look for in a sponsor.  First and foremost, a sponsor is growing spiritually in Christ and submitted to the Holy Spirit.  They are living the 8 principles and “practicing what they preach.”  They desire to help others in their recovery and spiritual growth, loving, encouraging, helping, confronting, and speaking the Word of God.  They show compassion, care, and hope (not pity).  They are a good listener but are willing to confront your denial or procrastination.   They are willing to share his/her own struggles with you.  And last, but very importantly, they offering Godly wisdom, not human wisdom or their own opinions.

4.  What is the role of a sponsor?
A sponsor is to talk about issues in detail that are too personal or to involved for a CR meeting.  They should be available in times of crisis or potential relapse.  They serve as a sounding board and give wisdom from God’s Word.  They encourage you to work the 8 Principles and 12 Steps.  They model a Christ-like lifestyle.  Again, no one is perfect, but these are basically what a sponsor is supposed to do.

5.   How do I find a sponsor / accountability partner?
Here are some helpful hints.  Most of all, tirelessly seek God’s leading (pray) – no rash decisions!  Second, it must be men sponsoring men, and women sponsoring women.  Third, invest some time in fellowship with the Body of Christ so you can get to know potential sponsors (at CR and church).  Besides all that, keep in mind that sponsorship is not a lifetime commitment, you cannot put that kind of responsibility on anyone.  Also, don’t take a “no” as rejection (good sponsors are few and far between and they could very well be overloaded.

Conclusion
True recovery is a process.  It is the process of learning to trust God and love Him.  Trusting Him to enough to let Him lead you to the person He wants as your sponsor and over time, leading you to be a help and sponsor to other people.

TURN

Step 3 We made a decision to TURN our lives and wills over to the care of God.
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God: this is your spiritual act of worship. (Romans 12:1)

Principle 3 Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control.

Blessed are the meek (Matthew 5:5)

TURN
We’ve been talking about a group of people that had been freed from their slavery.  Theirs had been physical and spiritual slavery, our hurts and habits often are physical too, as well as relational, financial, emotional, but always spiritual.  The Bible says, “for we do not battle against flesh and blood, but against…spiritual hosts of evil” (Ephesians 6:12).

In the testimony we’ve been following, the people have been freed from the physical battle.  God delivered Israel from slavery in Egypt by His mighty hand.  God had fought the battle; the Israelites just had to be obedient, giving their lives and wills over to God.  So they walked away from the Red Sea, and life from then on was all good…right?  Well, the work was only half done.  God had done the hard part in freeing them, now He was leading them to Mt Sinai where He was going to meet with them.  Now came the part where they just had to follow Him.  They had gladly TURNed from their slavery in Egypt and now they just had to TURN to God.

Sounds easy enough, right?  After all, who would ever want to go back to the thing that had enslaved them?  We would certainly never think of going back to the alcohol, the codependency, the drugs, the anger, the resentment, the gambling, the immorality, or any of that stuff.  Yeah, well even after all Israel had witnessed God doing for them in freeing them, they still wanted to go back any, and virtually every, time things didn’t go as they expected.  Check out Exodus 16:2-3, “Then the whole congregation of the children of Israel complained against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness.  And the children of Israel said to them, “Oh, that we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the pots of meat and when we ate bread to the full!  For you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger.”  Why did they want to go back?  Because they weren’t happy with the food they had!  God provided them with food that they didn’t have to work for, it just arrived like a free pizza delivery every day.  Then later on in Numbers 11:4-5 they again complain about the food God was providing, “Now the mixed multitude who were among them yielded to intense craving; so the children of Israel also wept again and said: “Who will give us meat to eat?  We remember the fish which we ate freely in Egypt, the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic; but now our whole being is dried up; there is nothing at all except this manna before our eyes!”  Imagine complaining about what God was providing for you!  Then in Numbers 14:2-4, God had taken them to the border of the Promised Land, the Land God had promised Abraham that his descendants would occupy (Genesis 12:1-7), and this is what they said, “And all the children of Israel complained against Moses and Aaron, and the whole congregation said to them, “If only we had died in the land of Egypt! Or if only we had died in this wilderness!  Why has the LORD brought us to this land to fall by the sword, that our wives and children should become victims? Would it not be better for us to return to Egypt?”  So they said to one another, “Let us select a leader and return to Egypt.”  It was right there, all they had to do was follow Him, and again He would do all the hard work; they just had to obediently follow, but they refused.  Then again in Numbers 20:3-5, now that they are just wandering around the dessert because THEY refused to enter the Promised Land, “And the people contended with Moses and spoke, saying: “If only we had died when our brethren died before the LORD!  Why have you brought up the assembly of the LORD into this wilderness, that we and our animals should die here?  And why have you made us come up out of Egypt, to bring us to this evil place? It is not a place of grain or figs or vines or pomegranates; nor is there any water to drink.”  Even in their rebellion, God was still providing all they needed, but they weren’t happy with that.

What a bunch of ungrateful people, huh?  Sure glad you and me are not like that!  We never refuse to do what God wants, complain about God’s provision, and get upset with Him because things are not going our way.  We never TURN from our hurts and habits, only to go back when things get hard; we never have to worry about relapse.  Is that right?

Let’s go back to just after they had crossed through the Red Sea, and God was leading them to Mt Sinai (this is where God would give them the 10 Commandments).  But before those commands were given, there was something they had to do.  Check out Exodus 19:4-8…

(God said) “‘You have seen what I did to the Egyptians, and how I bore you on eagles’ wings and brought you to Myself.  Now therefore, if you will indeed obey My voice and keep My covenant, then you shall be a special treasure to Me above all people; for all the earth is Mine.  And you shall be to Me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.’ These are the words which you shall speak to the children of Israel.”  So Moses came and called for the elders of the people, and laid before them all these words which the Lord commanded him.  Then all the people answered together and said, ‘All that the Lord has spoken we will do.’”

They had to agree to the covenant (the agreement / promise), that God would be their God and they would be His people.  Having just been freed from their slavery in impressive fashion, they quickly agreed.  They were happy to TURN from their slavery.  The problem is that they very soon forgot about their covenant, rebelled, and thereby broke the covenant.  They didn’t really want to TURN to God, they just wanted rid of their problem and then to go on living for themselves, however they wanted.  There was no lasting gratitude or love for God.

After 40 years of wandering in the desert, God renewed that covenant with the now grown children of that rebellious generation.  All the rebels had died in the desert and the “next generation” (not Star Trek) was just about to follow God into the Promised Land.  So in Deuteronomy 6:5, God tells them, “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.”  That is most important command in the entire Bible, Jesus said so (Matthew 22:37, Mark 12:30; Luke 10:27).

How about you, do you love yourself, your old habit, your will, or do you love God with all of your heart, soul, and strength?

Freedom from our hurts, habits, addictions, and slavery is only have accomplished when we TRUN from those things.  To TURN from them, we must TURN to something else.  If it isn’t God that we TURN to, it will be something that becomes a new hurt, habit, addiction, and enslavement, AND it will most surely lead to relapsing as well.

So, what does it mean to T.U.R.N.?

Trust – We have to take a step of faith and trust God.  Some of us say we can’t trust, “I’ve never heard God speak to me, how can I trust Him?”  But we trust the waitress not to steal the info off our credit card when she takes it.  We trust total strangers to stop at a red light as we go through the green.  We trust people we don’t really know with our kids at school all day, every day.  Yet we wonder if we can trust God?  If we don’t decide to trust God, we’ll keep doing things our way – like the Israelites, and doing life our way is what got us into the hurts and habits!  Remember our definition of “insanity”…”doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results.”  How about we stop trusting in ourselves, and make a decision to start trusting God.  By the way, it’s hard to trust someone you don’t know, so get to know more about Him by reading His Word, the Bible.  I recommend starting in the Gospel of John.

Understand – We, like the Israelites, should understood that we can trust God.  They had seen His power and intervention for them, but in moments of trial and temptation they chose to understand they were missing out on some old “fun”…back in their slavery.  God has been intervening for you too, though you might not have been paying attention or giving Him any credit for what He’s done.  You are still alive after all and being given this opportunity to give your life over to Him.  He could have just taken you out a long time ago, right?  We need to understand that God is our only HOPE.  You can TRUST Him, BUT things won’t always go like you expect them too!  And that’s okay because His ways are better than our ways!

Repent – The Israelites understanding of themselves and their slavery kept them from repenting.  Oh, they often admitted they had sinned, when God called them out.  They expressed sorrow, because they were afraid of God punishing them.  But they always went right back to their old rebellious behaviors.  Repentance is more than just sorrow.  Sorrow is necessary, but sorrow alone isn’t enough.  Repentance is TURNing away from our pride and self-reliance, TURNing away from our hurts & habits.  It’s all that AND, TURNing all of our life and will over to God in Jesus Christ.

That’s what step 3 is all about.  Step 1 is understanding that you are powerless over your hurts & habits.  Step 2 is acknowledging that Jesus is your only Hope and Help.  Step 3 is turning our life and will over to Christ.  STEP 3 “We made a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God.”

New Life – That rebellious generation of Israelites never got new life in the Promised Land.  Oh, they had a different life (not enslaved in Egypt but wondering in the desert).  We can give up some addiction and have a different life, without getting a new life.  New life is not about getting a fresh start, God does not just make every problem disappear.  It doesn’t mean your life from now on will be pain/worry free.  It doesn’t mean you wont still need to work through past hurts and habits…

New Life is about being an all new Creation in Christ and loving Him.  Like getting married – life is radically different, but old problems don’t go away.  Guys, you can’t keep your old girlfriends.  You’ve got to take their numbers out of your cell phone, their pictures out of your wallet, and thoughts of them out of your head!  Can you still run into them at Walmart?  Yes, but you better RUN the other direction if you do!

Second Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”  Romans 6:11 tells us that new life means “dead to sin and alive to God.”  It means He will present us faultless, meaning not guilty (Jude 24). It means we now have Jesus Christ as our intercessor (Hebrews 7:25).

It means we can now face and defeat our hurts and habits through the power of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:16-26).

Conclusion
New Life only comes only by trusting what God says, understanding who I am – and TURNing from it, understanding who Jesus is – and TURNing all my life and will over to Him, and repenting of my rebellion.  Finally, do you know Jesus?  Do you love Jesus?