The Serenity Prayer

Principle 1: “Realize I am not God, I admit I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable.”

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behavior; that our lives had become unmanageable.

I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.  For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ROMANS 7:18

This week’s topic:

The Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr

At Celebrate Recovery we say the Serenity Prayer every week, but how often do we really think about what it says?  What is significant about the wording of this prayer?  That’s our discussion this week.

But first, let’s get some background information.  What is serenity?  It could be tranquility, like a quiet meadow on a warm spring day.  Man, I could really go for a warm spring day right about now, right?  And I don’t know about you, but this crazy life we live in doesn’t feel much like a quiet meadow to me.  It feels more like hectic rush hour traffic on a 6-lane freeway and everyone around me as road rage!

In the Bible, we are not told to convince ourselves that we live in tranquility because God knows full well that life in this sin-sick world is not tranquil. What the Bible does talk about is contentment, a calm in the midst of chaos.

I have broken the Serenity Prayer down into three parts and we’ll discuss each part as we move through the words of the prayer.  The 3 sections are: serenity and courage, dealing with life, and trusting God.

Serenity and courage:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…

What is it that you cannot change?  Well, you cannot change other people, most situations, or slavery to sin.  Only God can do those things.  In fact, there is little that you can really change without God’s intervention.  You might make some improvements for a short time, but unless you can change the hearts, minds, and desires of yourself and others, you haven’t really changed much; that’s why the same old problems keep coming back.  Contentment accepts these things for what they are, because there is a peace and even joy that is not dependent upon them.  Real serenity is not trying to convince yourself that the grass is greener over there, or that the answer to all of your problems is about to drop into your lap.  Real serenity is not dependent upon the how easy your life is.

the courage to change the things I can…

What can you change?  You can change some things that really don’t change who you are, don’t change the hurts you’re dealing with, and don’t change the habits you’re struggling against.  For instance, you can change your address, your job, or your relationships, but what you soon realize is that the same old problems tend to come up again.  One thing you can do is change how you spend your time.  If you are spending time with people in places where you are being led away from God, then you may need to change how you’re spending your time.  That said, you cannot forsake your responsibilities to your spouse or children.  God makes that clear and God doesn’t contradict Himself.  If you have a spouse and / or kids, you must not abandon, ignore or fail to love them.  Instead of those things, you must have courage to change your own attitudes and actions towards your family so you provide for them out of the love of God.  He loves them just as much as He loves you.  If you have already fallen short with your family, God can forgive you if you repent and ask Him to.  Then you must choose to start caring for them as much as possible.  Be prepared that God’s forgiveness to you doesn’t mean they will forgive you or that the relationships will be instantly healed.  The consequences may be that the relationships will not be restored; like I said, you can’t change anyone else’s heart or mind, but you can change your attitudes.  Love them no matter what.  After all, you want God to love you no matter what, right?

Ok, back to how you spent your time.  We must minimize our time with ungodliness and maximize our time with Godly influences (which is one big reason church is so important).  That is one of the most important things you can change, and it takes courage.  That is clearly seen throughout the Bible and it is also my personal experience.  If I ignore time with God, with His Word (the Bible) and His people (the Church) then I will soon become weak and will open myself to ungodly influences and I’ll soon start making sinful choices (beyond ignoring God’s Word and His people).  Be strong in the Lord and of good courage!

and the wisdom to know the difference…

Seriously, if you’re like me, you’ve tried to change lots of stuff you didn’t need to change or could not change like those relationships, jobs, your address, who you are, etc…all for nothing as those problems resurfaced.  And if you’re like me, you have probably also ignored lots of things that needed to be changed like ungodly influences, your desires, your pride…just to find out that you continue to submit to those things!

How do you get the Wisdom to know what can and cannot be changed?  What I and many others have learned is that such wisdom only comes from the Word of God, and is only given to us by the Holy Spirit of God.  If we are ignoring God’s Word, we are ignoring God and He will not give us that wisdom we so desperately need.  Listen, God says that human wisdom is foolishness and that His wisdom seems foolish to us (1 Corinthians 1:18 – 3:23).

To wrap up this first section:

It’s about submitting to God’s wisdom to have contentment with the things you cannot change and courage to change the things you can.  God grants through His Word, the wisdom to find peace and even joy amidst this difficult life, and those come through investing in your relationship with God, His Word and His people.

Dealing with Life:

living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time…

No matter how old we live to be, our life is short compared to eternity.  In fact, the Bible says in James 4:14, your life “is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.”  You only get so much time in this life, and no one except God knows how long that is.  It is better therefore to enjoy every day, every moment, by making them count in your relationship with God.  The world preaches that you should use your time for satisfying your own pleasures and desires, but the wisdom of God says that is utter foolishness and leads to death and eternal separation from God.  The Bible says, “this wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic.  For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.  But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy” (James 3:15-17).  It is far better to use your life for godliness than for ungodliness; that is the wisdom of God.

accepting hardship as a pathway to peace…

Something else the world tells you is that hardship must be avoided at all cost; all that’s important is to be problem-free.  Like that is even possible.  God’s wisdom says that hardship is not only reality, but actually helpful!  God NEVER said that life would be easy, He actually says the opposite.  In talking about the inheritance that God is reserving for those who love Him, the Bible says, “in this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuiness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Peter 1:6-7).  Also, “my brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience” (James 1:2-3). 

Look, I know that many of the trials and hardships I have gone though I brought on myself due to sin; I’m guessing that is true for you too.  That’s because sin always has consequences.  When I was 16 I lied to my dad once about checking the oil in the car; I said I did, but I hadn’t so I didn’t know it was low.  Now, dad forgave me for my lie, but I still didn’t get to drive the car for a week!  I could give you much more serious examples than that, but let’s just go with that one for now; you get the idea.  Sin has consequences, even when we ask and receive forgiveness. 

Some trials and hardships God brings to us as a purifying fire.  In the Bible, Job said, “shall we accept the good from God and not adversity?” (Job 2:10).  A loving parent disciplines a child, or the child will only learn selfishness and evil.  God loves us and so He disciplines us so that we will learn to be more like Him.  “If you endure discipline, God deals with you as with sons, for what son is there whom a father does not discipline?  But it you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons.  Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect.  Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live?” (Hebrews 12:7-9). 

Some hardships you bring upon yourself by sin, others come from God and are meant to correct, teach, and prepare you.  Don’t fight against it or run from it, understand it and submit to God.

taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it…

The world is the way it is…enslaved to sin, immersed in hurts and habits.  All of us have felt the hurts in some way, all of us have struggled with some destructive habit.  Jesus came to the world, not to eliminate those things from the world, but to give you victory over them, so that you could live for Him, learning to overcome the habits, deal with the hurts, and love others instead of hurt them.  Jesus changes you.  God leaves you here for the short time He gives you breath, and purifies you as you submit to Him amidst the filth of the world.  In the process, you become a witness for Him and His healing power.

To wrap us this second section:

We’re still asking for God’s wisdom to accept the things you cannot change and have the courage to change the things you can.  In this section, we’ve just added that His wisdom lets you live and enjoy each day by accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, and understanding that you live in a sinful world, but it doesn’t have to corrupt you.

Trusting God:

trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your Will…

How is it that you will not be corrupted while living in this sinful, hurtful world?  By surrendering to God’s will.  That is the only way that works, the only way that makes any true, lasting difference.  We just acknowledged in this prayer that submitting to God’s will means facing some hardships, so trusting God is a big deal.  That is, after all, what God really wants you to do: trust Him! 

I suppose that many of you have read or heard Romans 8:28, “and we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”  We all like the idea that all things in this life are working together for my good, but we neglect the part that says, “to those who love God.”  The working together for good part is only true IF you love God and surrender to His will.  That is when He will “make all things right.”  And don’t forget that “all things right” does not mean “easy life.”

You’ve simply got to trust God and submit to Him.  By the way, it all starts with God the Son, Jesus Christ.  He is the only way to have access to the Father.  We cannot submit to God if we ignore or reject Jesus.  Jesus said, “He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me.  And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father” (John 14:21).  And what did the Father command, “that we should believe on the name of His Son, Jesus Christ” (1 John 3:23). 

so that I may be reasonably happy in this life…

God gives His children happiness, but not the kind that comes according to our selfish and sinful flesh!  God gives a joy that comes from knowing Him, doing His Will, loving His people.  That joy goes beyond the hurts and habits of this life.

and supremely happy with You in the next…

Eternity is when the hurts and habits, pain and trials end for good.  Until then, you live in this sinful, hurtful world.  Your only hope of overcoming those things is to trust God, submit to His will, and let Him fill you with His wisdom and love.

- Pastor Mark